Barunko [bah-RUHN-ko][1] an inhabitant of Farrog also known as 'The Muscle', was one of the six thieves who made up the group known as the Famous/Infamous 'Party of Five'. Barunko, like all the 'Party of Five' members, also belonged to the Farrog Thieves' Guild. Whenever a job required someone who was biddable, huge, and very strong--brawny rather than bright--Barunko was an obvious choice.[2]
The Muscle was particularly good at inflicting significant damage with his bare hands/fists and he was always up for a fight.[3] A specialty of Barunko was breaking down locked doors by using his head as a ram.[4] But as he aged, he had become more and more nearsighted such that he could barely see past his own nose.[5]
Barunko sported a tattoo of a honeybee next to a full moon on his muscular forearm.[6] He often found his crotch wet for reasons that were a mystery to him.[7]
In The Fiends of Nightmaria[]
Barunko and the rest of the 'Party of Five' had been called to meet together at "Pink's Tavern" by their de facto leader, Plaintly Grasp. As it turned out, Mistress Dam Loudly Heer, the Head of the Thieves' Guild, had been arrested two days previously on the orders of the new King of Farrog - the usurper, regicide, and necromancer Bauchelain the First - and imprisoned within the Royal Palace of Farrog. After discussion over ale at "Pink's", it was decided that the 'Party of Five' would that same night infiltrate the Royal Palace and rescue her.[8]
When Barunko and the rest of the gang arrived outside the Royal Palace that night, the high, spiked palace walls proved the first obstacle. Barunko attempted to throw Le Groutt and Mortari to the top of the wall, nearly braining Mortari against the wall's stone and impaling Le Groutt's left thigh upon one of the wall's spikes in the process.[9] More damage was spared only when Lurma Spilibus gained entrance by picking the lock of an unguarded old postern gate.[10]
As the sextet moved further and further into the depths of the Royal Palace, they experienced a variety of "alarums and excursions", including an encounter with a masturbating ape-like demon possessed by the Indifferent God which ejaculated into Barunko's eyes.[11][12] An unexpected meeting with a group of escaping prisoners--Apto Canavalian, Brash Phluster, Steck Marynd, Tulgord Vise, Tiny Chanter, Flea Chanter, and Midge Chanter guided by Seneschal Shartorial Infelance--turned into a brief brawl when a bellowing Barunko plowed his way through the group with his fists flying and dealing mayhem.[13]
Finally stumbling into Korbal Broach's Chamber of Collections, they encountered Bauchelain's partner in his guise as Farrog's new Grand Bishop. Broach was able to help the 'Party of Five' achieve their stated goal of rescuing the Head of the Thieves Guild by presenting them with Dam Loudly Heer's severed head. Unphased, Plaintly Grasp triumphantly pointed out to her fellow thieves, "That's how it goes on a mission like this one... Nothing seems to go as planned and then, all of a sudden, it's mission accomplished!"[14] In the rush to escape the palace, Barunko mistakenly thought they were still trying to scale the palace walls and threw Mortari into a wall again before being startled by Le Groutt and punching him out. The brawny thief was forced to carry Mortari and Le Groutt's unconscious bodies, as well as Lurma Spilibus who was similarly indisposed.[15]
The 'Party of Five' managed to retrace their steps through the Royal Palace back to the postern gate by which they had originally entered. By this point, Barunko was displaying a greater degree of intelligence and awareness of his surroundings than had been true at the beginning of the night. It turned out that his previous zoned-out state had been due to his habit of eating slugs soaked in an entire "bottle of D'bayang oil every day"--which was just then wearing off. This clearing of Barunko's mind was such that he had a sudden epiphany which he immediately shared with the others--the 'Party of Five' was, and had always been, a "Party of Six".[16]
Returning to the city streets, the band unexpectedly found that chaos reigned in the streets of Farrog. Bauchelain and Korbal Broach had blindly provoked a war with neighbouring Nightmaria and that Imperial Kingdom had sent its overwhelming military forces in response. To clear their escape route to the city's gate, the two necromancers unleashed a horde of undead on their own citizens.[17][18]
Ducking the undead, which included Dam Loudly Heer's headless corpse, the 'Party of Five' desperately searched for a place of safety for themselves with Plaintly Grasp picking the lock of a passing carriage's storage trap. Crawling inside, they were surprised to discover it filled with an immense treasure. It was only once they were all safely inside sitting in utter darkness that they realised they could no longer find their way out.[19] They had unwittingly found their way into the carriage of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach and the Warren where the necromancers kept their endless treasure. There was no way out and something else was trapped inside with them.[20][21]
History[]
Barunko's tattoo marked him as having once been Chief Rumpah of the Lavender Hive of the Full Moon-- part of a defunct secret-society known as 'The Grand High Order of the Wax Masons'. His impressive flatulence had served him well in the Masons' rituals until Borbos, a fellow society member, grew jealous and spiked his food with lima beans and cabbage. Barunko had been forced to strangle Borbos for cheating. The muscular thief's habit of consuming d'bayang oil was part of his attempt to preserve the order's secrets by making sure he could not remember them.[22]
Notes and references[]
- ↑ (Melo)Dramatic Reading and Discussion - Fiends of Nightmaria with Steven Erikson and Philip Chase - A Critical Dragon - As pronounced by Steven Erikson at 11:10
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 2
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 17
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 6
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 6
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 22
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 2
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 2
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 6
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 8
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 12
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 23
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 17
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 18
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 18
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 22
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 16
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 21
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 26
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 26
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 21
- ↑ The Fiends of Nightmaria, Section 22