Smiley's

Malaz City (Pre-Empire)

Smiley's was an infamous tavern in the Mouse Quarter of Malaz City, formerly owned in partnership by Dancer and Kellanved. Surly used to work as a barmaid there. Banaschar described it as "where rats go to die", while the sailors of the Ragstopper all agreed that the food was truly awful. It was rumoured that the ale was made with water run off the Deadhouse.

Smiley's sagging facade faced a wide street running parallel to the harbourfront. Inside, it was very dark and gloomy, lit only by some tallow candles (provided by the local wax witches, who frequented the bar), set out on blackened tables. The ceiling was low and the floor littered with rubbish. The thick air smelled of a cheese-sock.

The proprietor of the tavern was described as "a pike-thin Dal Honese of indeterminate age, each eye looking in a different direction", who wringed his hands and smiled unctuously at customers.

In Deadhouse Gates

After arriving in Malaz City through the Deadhouse, Fiddler hoped to rendezvous with Kalam Mekhar at "Smiley's", a place they both knew well.

In The Bonehunters

On the night that Adjunct Tavore Paran's fleet carrying the Malaz 14th Army arrived in Malaz City, angry mobs roamed the streets looking for vengeance against the foreign soldiers. Tavore's ships flew flags designating them as plague ships to keep the mobs away. Sergeant Hellian slipped off one of the vessels to look for a drink in Malaz City. She stumbled upon Banaschar and placed him under arrest for his actions in Kartool then began looking for a bar. They hurriedly entered Smiley's when one mob mistook her leech bites for sign of plague. Hellian planned for a round (or three) of drinks before taking Banaschar back to the 14th Army's ships, which were anchored in the harbour.

When the mob tried to follow them inside, the proprietor met them at the door, veering into his true form as a Kenryll'ah demon. The demon picked up one man and tore off his head, sending the others away screaming before tossing the head and body separately after them. A whore who frequented the bar said the demon was not so bad when you got to know him.

Fiddler, Gesler, Stormy, and Legana Breed later encountered Hellian and Banaschar the two drunkenly exited the bar. Fiddler chastised the two, saying the demon did not serve regular ale at Smiley's, and escorted them back to the 14th Army's ships.

In The Crippled God

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The Crippled God.

Years later, many residents of Malaz City thought that Smiley's was just a story, a haunting, perhaps - people sometimes thought they heard voices on the night air, tankards clunking, laughter, and sad, very sad, fiddle music. But, in fact, Fiddler had at last retired to Malaz City and, while 'fishing' by day, now spent his nights playing his fiddle at the bar that only certain people could now actually find.

In Deadhouse Landing

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In Kellanved's Reach

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